S is for success!

'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.' - Goethe

Hallelujah! I have good news to report. But first, more hilarious job interviews for companies I have zero interest in working for!

Yesterday morning I got up for my interview at Meade International. I still don't really understand what they do, and so I have dubbed their office building the crack factory. It's located in the middle of NOWHERE (Totteridge and Whetston Tube Station, for the Londoners out there). Anyway it took me about an hour to get there and I was not pleased about the possibility of such a shitty commute. I get to the office and then a woman greets me and takes me up to the fifth floor of this ten story building they own. The office is a mess: pamphlets, books, papers scattered everywhere. The place was beyond disorganized and the interview, even more so. She asks me questions about my experience and I tell her it's predominantly in the editorial field but I've expanded my job search and am looking for different opportunities (bullshit). She says 'Ah nothing like desperation to push you to find a job!' Uhh, no, well you see, I just, ahh.

Fuck.

Anyway we chat for about 10 more minutes. She says that they would need me for the customer service role but might also ask me to do some copywriting and basic web design. Umm OK? But they can't pay me what I want and I'd have to work for a lot less. Umm OK? During our conversation she also starts texting on her phone. And then, quite abruptly, she gets up and leaves. 'I'll be right back.' So I wait and soak up the beautiful view: what looks like a giant shanty town located directly behind the office.

What is this place?

She comes back and says. 'OK we want to hire you. You can move up quickly and make more money but you have to start at the bottom. You can start Monday.'

It was so bizarre to me that I had struggled so much in the past 54 days and in 10 minutes this woman wants to offer me a job.

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME. I have no customer service experience. I don't even know what the hell your company does. Is this a drug front? I mean, I'm not against a drug front, per se. I'd just like to be in the know, so I can develop the appropriate limp and nickname.

Anyway then I get a tour of the building and I am still utterly confused. It seems like there are 10,000 employees in this place and it's not clear what any of them do. 'People move up really quickly,' says this Australian girl showing me around. 'I mean I started in distribution and now I'm recruitment.'

Distribution! Recruitment! This is a drug front.

Anyway she seemed pretty happy about her job and the company so I forced that part of my brain that was telling me to run far, far away to shut up and tried to see if I could ever picture myself working here. More importantly, I tried asking myself what my other options were at this point in the game.

Stupid brain. Thinks it's so smart.

So I left feeling pretty bummed. I mean, yah I had a job (well, I hadn't accepted yet), but like it wasn't even close to what I wanted to do and I was skeptical of a company that would hire me so quickly (and not ask me anything about customer service for a role in customer service). So in my sad state, I took the train back into the city to meet with Warren from Yahoo UK about some freelance work.

The Yahoo UK offices are pretty awesome. They're located in Covent Garden, the heart of central London, where everything is happening. The offices are very web 2.0 - colourful, open concept, CRAZY security but definitely a super fun atmosphere otherwise.

I met with Warren and he told me what they are trying to accomplish. Essentially, they want me to do some research for the Lifestyle channel they are starting in July. Ten days of work at an excellent hourly rate. And afterward, the possibility of a full-time role in editorial.

I thought, you better not be shitting me, Warren. Don't play with a girl's heart like that. Do you know where I was today? A crack factory! A DRUG FRONT, WARREN. A goddamn drug front. I almost had to develop a limp.

Anyway I thought I was going to explode with happiness. Even working for them for just 10 days would be fantastic. He also told me that I was actually really really close to getting that job back in November. He said it was really hard for them to make a decision. And he also said that it was great timing that I was here now because now they could utilize me in a more suitable role.

Sweet ass.

So I start work next Friday. My first task is to buy a bunch of fashion and gossip magazines (tough life). Anyway I'm trying not to count all my chickens before they hatch, but I am much happier and feel less defeated than I did two short days ago.

Another funny story that I don't know if I shared with you. Last Friday I had a phone interview with Barclays Bank for a web editor position. I didn't do a ton of research because it was a phone interview and I assumed those are just conducted to weed out the retards. Anyway things were going swimmingly until the woman asked me why I wanted to work for Barclays. I said something about wanting to work for a respected, established company and that I thought working in a new industry like banking would be a great way to add variety to my portfolio (bullshit). Anyway I thought all had gone well but then there was silence.

'No but why do you want to work for Barclays specifically? I mean, what do you know about Barclays? Did you even do any research? I assumed you the recruiter would have told you to do that.'

'Uhh, umm, well you know I just moved here. So I mean, I don't really know that much about it. I know it's a large, successful bank in the UK. I mean I know it's a bank.'

Wow. Bravo, Vaness. It's a bank? 'Umm also I know the sky is blue and water is wet.' Needless to say the interview abruptly ended and she said she would give feedback to the recruiter. He called and left me a message to get in touch with him but I was too embarrassed to call him back.

'You said it was a BANK? What is wrong with you? Are you retarded?' Yes. The answer is yes.

So this morning I get a call from the recruiter. 'Barclays would like to call you in for an interview.'

Shut up! Anyway I turned it down because I will be working at Yahoo and also I hate Barclays. Anyway I thought that was kind of funny. I definitely thought that woman had put some voodoo curse on my whole family but she actually wanted to see me again? Crazy.

So after Yahoo, I went to Jenny and Ryan's for dinner which was delicious! Great convo, tons of wine (ciggies in the kitchen!) it was wonderful. And they live super close which makes it even better! As for the weekend, I am taking it easy tonight, tomorrow I am hanging with the Schultes, hitting up Borough Market and Upper Street and tomorrow night I have a date! I'll share more gossip about that on Monday (gotta keep you coming back, right?)

Anyway friends, have a fantastic weekend! I will write again soon,

Cheers,

Patsy