The most magical place on earth!

I'm going to Disneyworld, suckers!

Before you all throw down your latte and yell, 'Fuck you, Vanessa!' I should let you know that it was merely by chance and speedy email skills that I was awarded this fantastic press trip to Disneyworld.

I won't say that I'm not beyond-belief excited to be wined, dined and given the golden Disney treatment for six days, but I will say I am little nervous. First of all, I don't know anyone that's going, save for a big gay bear named Dave who seems like lots of fun and loves a few drinks, so at least I'll have one party animal on board. But it is sort of crazy going on a transatlantic flight with a group of people you've never met to an amusement park (sounds like the beginning of some really shit horror movie). Anyway, clearly I can suck up all my little baby fears because I get to hang out in the sun and surf while I meet celebrity chefs and go to Jellyrolls (look it up).

Alright so now that I'm done being a insufferable braggart - onto more about me. Last weekend was my birthday and it was extremely fun. After nine months, I finally feel like I've developed a solid social circle and that my life here is starting to take shape. I won't lie - it was a rather motley crew from work, some old high school friends, Francs, Sarah (the newest UK expat), plus a majestic return by Kate and Mads. We started out at Alphabet in Soho where I had entirely too many pink mojitos and strawberry ciders and wine and more cider. Fuck. Anyway we left there to another pub and then went dancing at my favourite dance place in London, The Arts Theatre Club, I don't know much, but someone fell down a flight a stairs and someone else wore a trench coat all night and it ended with a scrumptious kebab, so not sure what else a girl could ask for but I was pretty pleased.

Saturday was more partying, but this time in fancypants South Ken where everyone was posh and snobby and I felt entirely out of place and not nearly drunk enough. Sunday I went over to coworkers house for a Sunday roast and drank til the wee hours of the morning and slept through our alarm so showed up 2 hours late for work. Oops!

I have to say that despite all the fun I am having here, my heart aches daily for Canada. You'll never appreciate where you come from, and where your roots are until you rip them out from underneath you and transport yourself somewhere (almost) entirely different. There is so much you realize you love about your home, your country, your culture that you'd never even be able to identify if you didn't have to listen to jokes about living in Igloos and Justin Beiber and going 'oot and aboot' all the time. I want a PITCHER of beer and wings from The Wheat Sheaf and baseball games (little late for that, guess I'll settle for hockey - and I'm sorry are the leafs winning? What is happening!) and leaving for the bar at 12 and saying pants without people thinking you're talking about your underwear.

Mostly though, I miss the people. I can totally and fundamentally appreciate why people love Canadians now. We can laugh at ourselves (I'm struggling a bit on that though. 'FUCK OFF I DON'T SAY OOT AND ABOOT') and though I've been reading some terrible things about where our government is taking our country, I still believe politically, were regarded with a lot of respect. We're jovial and intelligent and we can party with the best of 'em and were fun. Fuck. We're SO fun.

So in six weeks, I'll be back in our fine country drinking our sweet ales and eating our sweet wings and regaling people with fun stories from the UK ('So then she asked him if he was a leprechaun and would do a jig for us, and I said Franca, were going to get murdered.') But before I return, I'll be hitting up Orlando, Barcelona and hopefully, I'll get a little northern flavour under my belt on a weekend trip to Newcastle.

But you know what the most magical place on earth really is? It's home.

Just kidding, it's Disneyworld. See you in a week BITCHES!

I'm backkkk!!!!

Messy and me!

OK so wow it's been a really long time since I wrote in here - and I've been meaning to for ages (I say this exact same thing to my grandma every 6.5 months when I call her - I am a terrible, terrible person and I'm going straight to hell).

Alright now that we've got that out of the way, shit, I've got a lot to catch you up on. OK so let's do the Coles notes version of the past six months.

Side note - is it really sad when you come to my blog and that post is 6 months old and you're like 'Jeez, she just really gave up, didn't she?'. It's like going to your high school reunion and realizing the formerly hottest chick in your year put on like 50 lbs and is still dating the formerly hottest dude in school (who is now also super fat). So I promise I won't give up - I really want to write more I just have no time and my eyes hurt after 9 hours of staring at a screen all day (which is why I come home and go on Facebook. What?) Anyway I promise I'll update more now. I PROMISE GRANDMA!

So...
- Went to Paris (awesome, had escargots, shopped, drank good wine and ate lots of cheese)
- Jess visited (it was sloppy, great to catch up, I missed her, scenes missing)
- Jeremy and Sarah visited (it was sloppy, great to catch up, Sarah looks like Sinead O'Connor, drank a lot, scenes missing, they went to Scotland [alas I did not go], did I mention drinking?)
- Ryan came to visit (we went to Dublin, it was sloppy, he played baseball, it was hilarious, scenes missing)
- I went to Wales - I visited all the places my Dad lived and met people that knew him and saw how beautiful that country (nation? state? nationstate? I still don't understand the UK's political geography) is and how totally weird and sweet some of the people are there. I highly recommend you go!
- My parents came to visit (stayed in Knightsbridge (fancypants town - it was nice and the bed was more comfortable then the one I have in my flat), I got nostalgic and cried like a baby, stayed up til 4:30 am drinking [they also informed me their last party in Port Credit was broken up by the police - and you wonder why I have a drinking problem?] I went to Oxford with my Dad and had a posh lunch in the senior common room of Balliol while my dad relived his glory days 'that's where I peed my pants'! (note: may or may not have happened)
- During this time I also managed to work, Lifestyle is doing superbly, I've written some things and we're moving up in the ranks. I've been there six months now! Which is totally crazy insane and I haven't been fired so it looks like I may officially have been accepted into the British workforce!

There was a boy for a while but not any more - so that part of my life is fairly uneventful. But there are lots of other exciting things happening in the future!

1) I'm going to Barcelona for work! Five days on a pan-Euro editorial conference-y thing where we wear t-shirts and have book club? I don't really know what's going on but all I know is I am going to eat some paella and chug some rioja and have a Spanish delight of a time!

2) I am going back to Toronto for a MONTH December 3rd (mark it in your calendars) til January 3rd. I'll be working from the Toronto office for a week and a bit and then THREE WEEKS OF HOLIDAYS! I cannot wait for COLD CANADIAN weather. No seriously, it will have been almost a year since I've been back which is totally crazy and I actually am getting progressively more homesick as the days goes by. I've avoided telling any of my British brethren though because one thing they don't really do so well here is emotion. They do cider and ale and jager bomb trains but they're not so big on 'feelings'. Which is OK since I've murdered most of my intellectual and emotional capabilities with alcohol. Derp de derp.

3) I AM GOING ON A PRESS TRIP TO DISNEYWORLD! I don't want to give too much away, but I am going for a week at the end of October with a bunch of other journalists and I am SO excited. I promise a big fat brief when I get back (no, I will not get you Mickey's fucking autograph - he's easily the lamest of all Disney characters). I went to poor-man's Disneyland last year but THIS year I'm doing the real deal! So get ready.

4) I like it here and I am going to stay. I don't know for how long but I've made my decision. I might need to move out of my servant's quarters because literally living in a 'bed' room is not so fun. But Franks and I are loving our adventure so far (and though I can't speak for her for certain) I think we're both gonna give Jolly Old England another year at least!

5) Have to add this in: my broseph is getting married! Dawn and Chris sitting in a tree..wait, that doesn't seem appropriate here. Anyway they are! Next year! And I'm a bridesmaid. So I'll back in Canada then in case you want to pencil me EXTRA early.

So I know this was a lame ass post but I promise now that we have gotten over our lover's quarrel, Patsy and I will work extra hard to keep you all up to date with the VERY exciting goings on in my life.